On nudes
and neighbors.
“Julie, can I photograph you naked in your backyard?”
“Actually… you know what? Yes!”
Julie is a friend and neighbor. She’s someone I feel like I’ve known forever. Fast friends.
I’d been sharing with her, over the course of months, about Secret Sessions– About my desire to truly co-create with women to give them physical affirmation of their beauty.
Thus far, the women who were okay with me sharing their photographs were already very comfortable and empowered in their bodies. I wanted to share photographs of women that were on a journey to that destination.
Julie had been sharing with me that she was undergoing dramatic weight loss– she needs a surgery that will significantly increase her health and she needs to lose weight in order for it to be successful. In addition to losing the weight, she’s been transforming in so many ways. Her eyes have a twinkle in them. Her physical health is just an outer indicator of what’s going on within, at a soul level.
Also- let me be clear about something. I don’t give a fuck what your body looks like. It’s not my business. I’m just here to document you in an artful way. I’m not going to come in to your home and try to “make you look skinnier” or some shit. No. I’m going to document your body in a beautiful way. You are beautiful as you are – whether you fully believe that or not.
Anywaaay. One crisp morning my son and I traipsed over to her home. We sat and chatted for a while. Julie and I both had to redirect several times because we could talk the day away.
My son ran after her cat in an attempt to pet it (no luck there) and Julie and I set up in her back yard. A sweet little oasis.
“Oh my god I”m sorry I didn’t weed!” she shared.
“Actually… I kind of love it?” I assured.
We ended up using the weeds as part of the shoot. EVERYTHING is art if you look at it the right way. Also, what is a weed but a plant classified as “unwanted”?
Before each Secret Session I share with clients that their home doesn’t need to be tidy or look photoshoot-ready. That’s not realistic! Plus, my lens is so tight that the clutter and chaos doesn’t make it into the shot ever.
Anyway.
Julie started in a towel and undies. Once she felt up to it, she dropped the towel and we just played photoshoot. She truly leaned in to the experience. At the end, we had several handfuls of images.
At one point when I was photographing her torso, she inhaled and held it. Her body became tense. “Don’t suck in!” I gently directed. She laughed as if she’d been caught. “Just exhale and relax. You got this.” The photograph we took at that moment was both of our favorites. Truly relaxed and beautiful.
She dressed and I asked her to tell me which images she felt comfortable with me scanning and sharing.
She quietly went through them all. Just looking at herself on film. Just existing in her backyard moments prior. Just her.
“Honestly, Emily? All of them. I am okay with you sharing all of them.”
“Wow. Are you sure? I don’t want you to feel any pressure from me on this.”
“Yes! These are beautiful and I don’t care who sees! Share them ALL!”
LIBERATION! A beautiful thing.
Days later, Julie called me.
“Emily. I have been thinking a lot about our session…”
I held my breath for fear that I’d missed something… that something was… bad…
“I want you to know that you are doing something very special here. I want to affirm you in that.”
I exhaled. Speechless.
“I didn’t know what to expect at first but I like you and I trusted you so I said yes to a Secret Session. But it was more than I could have imagined.”
She shared how she has three of the images hung up on her wall at home and she has been affirming herself by looking at them. She shared which were her favorites– and yes, the one where she exhaled and relaxed was one of the three.
We spoke for nearly an hour – She spoke life in to me. In to my business. In to my mission and heart. An angel.
We truly saw each other.