shaped by underconsumption
and vaguely hippie parents.
I was raised by a couple who built their own home, gardened, and believed in the power of a home cooked meal. My mother loved to sew and my father found solace in tending to his garden, which we ate out of every summer. They were conservative in their spending. My parents provided for me– I was just sure as shit not getting that new plastic contraption as seen on TV.
Growing up, I felt envious of a friend whose parents always bought her the newest brightest bestest thing. Her father used the newest digital camera while my parents showed up with their trusty point and shoot.
Her grandparents took her back to school shopping at the start of every year– spending so much money on whatever the store told them was in style. Me? I got new clothes when I’d outgrown my old ones, or when an occasion called for it (rare).
My parents were under-consumers. They fixed things that were broken. Their cars, shoes, appliances. They rode them ‘til the wheels fell off.
I remember being embarrassed sometimes. Like frick can we just have the flashy new stuff sometimes?
But baby. This under-consumption shaped me in ways I am grateful for beyond words.
Because we never “upgraded” our film cameras to digital, I knew nothing but film. Now, I am a photographer who creates ONLY with film– It’s not some gimmick for me. It’s just how it’s always been. I’ve had a film camera in my hand since I was old enough to grasp it.
One of the first places I drove myself after I got my license at 16 was to get film developed. I think of that 16 year old version of me every time I get film developed now. She’s still there.
In high school, My idea of fun became heading to the thrift store on Saturday nights. Finding t-shirts no one else would have. I still have all of them. I still love them. 20 years later and I still stand by my thrifting choices at 16. My son will someday wear these gems.
Now, I sell vintage clothing. I have a rack of kids’ vintage at Cheerio Collective in Highland Park. I’ve sold at Silverlake Flea. I sell online. I have an eye for gems and can spot a unique vintage piece from across the store (if I’m wearing my glasses).
Thank god for under-consumption. Thank god for my parents. Thank god for thrift stores keeping shit out of the landfill.
It’s also maybe relevant to note that I’m from Portland. Reading what I’ve written thus far I’m like oh man ok hipster girl! My friends and I thrifted out of necessity! We shot film because we didn’t HAVE digital! We rocked it and it became a whole thing and now it’s like… a scene? Ok? Ok. I’m not this way because I think I’m cool for doing it… I’m doing it because it’s who I am. Who I was raised to be.
My favorite shirt is my first grade tee-ball uniform. I single stitch purple situation. I still have my first ever point and shoot gifted to me by my grandparents on my 7th birthday.
I also recognize that being able to still own and treasure these things is a result of my parents living in the same house forever. The result of financial stability on their part. We haven’t had to move 100000 times, flee from an abuser, deal with eviction, leave everything behind in the middle of the night. That is privilege.